[Should that one little brush of their lips have left him wanting more? Because he wants so much more.
Enough so that he's moving the basket of bagels, the idea of breakfast completely forgotten. Until he's pushing himself up onto his knees, reaching forward to cup each side of Ignis' face, touch feather light and gentle.]
[Ignis feels like someone threw a blizzara grenade at him because he finds himself unable to move, lips still burning from the previous kiss. His eyes are fixated on Noct's face; as if asking ' do you really want this? there's no going back after'- might as well let his expression ask questions because his throat is completely closed off because of the touch. He doesn't want Noctis to regret this later...]
[Does he really want this? Will there truly be no going back once they've crossed that particular bridge? Is this the one line between beings friends or something more that can only be stepped over in one direction?
Or is he just lonely? Does his heart just want something that he can never, ever have? Something that had been torn from him when he had been so close to it? He had waited so long to get to be with Luna. And then she was just gone.
They both were. Only she had gone to another, better place and he had ended up here. With Ignis.
For a single breathless second it appears that he wavers, glancing down and away as if he's changed his mind, hands falling from Ignis' face down to his shoulders where they grip tight. But it only last for that one brief moment in time, before he's shifting, moving in even closer, lifting a leg and swinging it across Ignis' lap, until he can bring himself to rest upon it. Shifts and settles, those blue eyes locked up his face, the message that it was Ignis' move clearly written in them.]
[It was one thing next to the bonfire when Noctis hugged him tightly and cried, placed safely in his lap and embrace, wishing he could change what happened. Making Ignis wish he could change what happened.
But this is completely different. Heart stuck in his throat, hands resting on Noct's waist, as if afraid that he'll just evaporate. That the warmth of his hands is just a dream. And it goes against all logic to allow this, any of this, but... Noct's kiss untied the dusty box with feelings he hid away a long time ago. That he never expected to poke into at all.
And Gods, he's afraid to do it. It's why he's hesitating himself. Yes, they are dead, and they could do whatever they want but... it still feels like he's doing something forbidden. Something that's not meant to be for him. And he's not sure what will become of him if he ever has to give it up. That's why the box is dangerous and hidden.
With a shaky sigh, he leans his forehead against Noct's their noses brushing as his hands tremble.]
[He feels it. The way those hands shake against him, the hold that should be so steady and strong suddenly anything but. Hears the way that sigh releases and knows that Ignis is holding back. Trying to keep some secret hidden down in the darkness, where it can lie dormant, never to see the light of day. Light would make it dangerous.
And for it, this hidden, feral thing trying to claw it's way to life inside of Ignis, Noctis is the light.
Why would they ever have to give this up? What power could be strong enough to make that possible?
A stupid question, because even he knew the answer to that. Luna was that power. And it was strong enough to force them back onto opposite sides of that line.
He wants this. So much. Because this is something he never would have been allowed when he was alive. There was duty first, personal wants second, and this was one that never would have even been entertained. Especially not with Ignis, the man who was meant to be his friend, his confident and adviser but not this. Never this.
He could have this, right? Take it for himself. Ignis would always give him whatever he wanted. But those hands trembled where they should be steady, and he forced those thoughts away.
Reaching down, he gently grasped with wrist, slowly removing them from his hips, twisting his hands until their palms met and their fingers could interlace, holding them between them. Pressed the back of Ignis' against where his heart beat within his chest. Pressed the back of his own against Ignis' and held them there.]
[That box should have remained there for eternity, never to be touched or thought about; Ignis made peace with it. He hoped, that one day when he died, he'll find some peaceful place where he can dream of simpler days and simpler things- tall bright windows, sneaking around the citadel, hushed whispers and laughs, gentle teasing. It would've been enough- it always was.
Or so Ignis convinced himself.
He'd give everything to Noctis, that's how it always was. Always will be. And he would give this to him too. And take in return. But Luna is someone he has no chance against no matter how deep his feelings go, or what he did. Some facts just can't be changed.
It feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest and somehow he hopes it does because it will end this sweet torture- at least temporarily. He squeezes Noct's hands back tightly but doesn't dare say a word- his voice will betray him. Only keeps him close, both of them pressed together, tightly.
'I can't do this. Please, move away,' is stuck behind his teeth and not coming out. Because, for once, he's being selfish.]
One foot is already over that invisible line, and the other is ready poised and ready to follow. Only it's going to drag, going to destroy that line completely in it's wake. Leave them nothing to go back to should this fail.
It would be foolish to think they could just stop this and go back. This wasn't the Regalia, and there were no u-turns in life or death. They wouldn't be able to repair should this new, fragile thing be damaged.
He still wants it. Wants that heart he feels beating underneath the surface. Wants to give his own in return. But is it fair to only give half when he's being given a whole in return? Is it right to only ever love someone half as much as you possibly could?
What was the right answer?
Luna wasn't here. Ignis was. Luna would want him to be happy. Ignis was one of the sources of that happiness. Scales and balances, each side weighing heavy. But Luna wasn't here, and no one else has arrived but them. Most weren't lucky enough to have anyone from their own world arrive with them. The chances of Luna suddenly appearing were slim. Low enough that they could almost be zero.
Instead it was Ignis who was here beside him. Always having his back. Watching over him. Taking care of him. Ignis deserved to have this for himself. This one thing.
And so Noctis gave it. Finally.
They were so close. All it took was lifting his head for their lips to meet. A feather light brush, soft and barely there. Followed another, slightly deeper, but still gentle. Then the last, longer and firmer than the first two, air leaving his lungs as he gave himself over to it.]
[Perhaps this will be one moment. That one moment he will lock away with the rest of his feelings later, to remember before falling asleep. One moment when it's so dark around them, save for the lights of their lanterns somewhere in the back, with no one else around.
He'll take it, this moment, all of it, and jealously hide it from everyone else. It's too precious to be tampered with. Noct's weight on him, smell, the way his eyes look at him half-lidded and then leaning in. Finally leaning in for a kiss.
A longer one. A simple press of the lips, moving slowly against each other as Ignis returns it, his grip on Noct's hands almost impossibly firm. It so overwhelming, to the point he wants to push Noct away to be able to just breathe. But he doesn't do it.
Instead, he keeps the kiss going, eyes closed so he could relish in every sensation that he gets, shivers running down his back.]
[Perhaps it will be. Just this one moment, hidden away in the dark. One moment out of an entire lifetime that they've stolen for themselves. Maybe this will be the only time they're ever allowed this.
It's impossible to imagine never having this again. Never being this close. Never feeling Ignis' heart beat so wildly beneath his touch. The way his kiss alone can make him shiver.
He shifts, hand currently holding Ignis' against his chest slowly slipping away, lifting instead to cup the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in dirty blond strands. Like he's desperate for something to hold on to.
And he is. Because kissing Ignis is like tasting the freedom he's always desperately wanted. Like all of the rebellious things he had ever done all rolled up into one. He knew then that this won't - can't be the only time. He won't let it. Because he's knows that taste know, and he's already addicted.
He pulls away, just long enough to breathe. Just long enough for his eyes to flutter open and for his lips to curl up into a soft smile at the sight of what he's done. Then he's right back. Lips pressing in even more fiercely than before.]
[It is going to be hard keeping these feelings hidden. But that comes later. Way, way later...
Right now, it's all Noctis. His hands, his lips, his body- Ignis wraps both of his hands around his waist, pulling him flush against himself once his hands are free. The fingers dig into the back of Noct's shirt, a soft groan slipping past his parted lips when Noct pulls back.
It's making him dizzy... Noct's beautiful blue eyes, catching a glimmer of their lanterns. Ignis could spend hours upon hours just looking at him. But he's properly distracted when Noct smiles and dives in for another kiss, and one of his hands moves to the back of Noct's head, fingers entwining with Noct's hair.]
[Those feelings are meant for them. Like a hidden secret whispered between the two, only ever intended for their ears and their hearts. Noctis coul accept that. He could. So long as it meant that he would get to have this.
That groan does things to him in all of the best ways. Has a shiver running down the length of his spine and a sound falling from his lips that he can't contain. This kiss is so different from the first. Deeper. Passionate. Like they're pouring out years of desperate, repressed longing.
But then his lungs remind him that he needs to breathe, and he can't quite workout how to draw in air and not break their connection. It's only when they begin to burn and ache that he actually pulls away.]
[Perhaps it is true. Perhaps those were the years of hidden longing seeping out of his soul and into the kiss. Always so incredibly close to each other but never able, never allowed to be more than that. And yet here, finally, he gets to kiss him. It's not as suave and experienced like Ignis wanted himself to be but, gods, Noct's enthusiasm about it covers up his own insecurities.
He is breathing deeply too when Noctis pulls back, lips red and face flushed lightly. Noctis is incredible- he always was. Always will be. To Ignis. Noct whispering his name only proves it- that he is a dangerous delight he shouldn't have, shouldn't even think about.
But they threw everything out of the window already and Ignis pulls Noct closer, chest to chest, forehead leaning against the other, his hand tangled in Noct's hair on the back of his head. Admitting his true feelings aloud is impossible, there's no way he can do it (now or possibly ever), but he can try and convey them.
Through another kiss. And another. Shorter, biting ones. Then a longer one where his tongue swipes over the bottom of Noct's lip teasingly. Ignis says nothing- but he's listening intently. Noct's every breath, every sound he makes, every movement.]
[His heart was going to pound right out of his chest, he was certain of it. Going to break through his ribs, and fly free. Each kiss caused it to skip a beat within his chest, a shuddering thud that was almost painful. Surely Ignis could feel it, the sharp jump that occurred with each bite. The way it sped up impossibly more as that tongue swipes across his lips.
And they part dutifully. What was meant to be a soft sound turned into something louder, longer and more desperate. Arms shifted and flexed, wrapping around strong shoulders, clinging as though they were lost in the waves of an ocean and Ignis was the only thing keeping him afloat.
It was so much. So perfect that he couldn't imagine not having this again. Not having more one day. Ignis was so much. So perfect. And it was Ignis who was giving him these things. Who was making him feel like this.
Why couldn't they have this much for themselves? They had already given everything. All of their strength. All of their hope. Their entire lives given over in an attempt to save the world. They could have this much. Could take it.
They would take it. Noctis already was. This was his. Ignis was his. And he couldn't imagine giving him up.]
[Ignis couldn't feel it or hear it- probably because from how loud his own heart is. Beating so intensely that he can hear it drum in his own ears. And if he had the power to freeze time, he would freeze this moment and them within it. Because he doesn't want to pull away.
Kiss after kiss- short biting ones and deep, passionate ones- Ignis doesn't know how long have they have been sitting like this, but he doesn't care. He wants all of it, more. Like a thirsty man in the desert, craving for water. That's how much Ignis is craving, yet cherishing, every single one of these kisses.
Because he's not sure what this world will bring them. They are dead and yet they can die again. So he will take this, this moment with each other, so he has no regrets later.
When Ignis pulls back, he's out of breath, and all pure, total affection he feels for Noctis is clearly written all over his face.]
[That look melts the last of his defenses, reduces them down to nothing, until all they are is a distant memory of what used to stand between them. He had longed for a look like that. Wanted it so badly it ached, a pain that reverberated in every part of him. And here it was, being offered up to him by this man who he could never imagine living a life without.
Ignis had taken a lonely, solitary prince and given him everything he had ever wanted. Even when it had been difficult. Even when it would have been easier to give up then continue to deal with everything Noctis dished out. Had never wavered. Had always been right at his side. Had always had his back.
And now he bore the scars.
Hands slipped from where they rested upon Ignis' shoulders, came up to gently grasp the edges of his glasses, sliding them from his face slowly. Carefully folded them before placing them aside, onto the nearby table that held their lanterns, where they would be safe.
Then they were back, fingertips tracing along the edges of the silvery white scar that rimmed his left eye. Across the one that now marred the bridge of his nose. Leaned in and pressed his lips against it, soft and reverent.]
[What Ignis dare not admit even to himself, even less loudly, leaves Noct's mouth like it's not a problem at all. And maybe it isn't, but Ignis feels like this is something... monumental. Something that can't be put in words no matter how eloquent Ignis is. It hurts- he's so happy that this had happened, but it also hurts so much.
Is it the way Noct is gently handling him? Putting away his glasses then tracing the scars around his eye and over the bridge of his nose... The way he speaks quietly to him, breath against his lips and Ignis fights back the urge to dive in for another kiss.
The way Noctis affects him Ignis hid for years, coming up on the occasions when Noct would strike a soft spot inside of him. Gladio would call him out on indulging and babying Noctis and Ignis would just mentally sigh in relief that his "terrible" secret is safe.
Now, Noct tore into him and pulled out that secret into the open and Ignis has no energy to fight back. Because- he can never say /No/ to Noct.]
I... [Why does he feel like he should apologize...?] Is... it really alright? Because it feels... surreal to me.
[Was it really? Was anything about this actually alright? They were dead and apparently this wasn't going to be some idyllic afterlife. But it was the only chance they were ever going to have. They could never have had this in life. Could never have had each other.
Because Noctis was a prince. A king. And there were rules that had to be followed. A laundry list of things that were forbidden. Noctis was untouchable. It didn't matter what feelings had grown between them, how intense and real and wanted they were. Because the path that had been chosen for him didn't include some fling with his adviser. It was linear, a one way trip with no deviations.
This wasn't just breaking from that intended path, it was leaving it behind as if it had never existed at all.]
I'm not a king anymore. [And that was the most important distinction. That which took this and transformed it from something forbidden into something which was possible.
Hands slipped downwards, cupped each cheek with that same gentleness, wide pad of his thumb tracing along the scar that now split Ignis' lower lip.] And you're not my adviser. We're Ignis and Noctis.
[It's so easy to lean in, to press another kiss against those lips. It comes so naturally, like he had been doing it for years. And he had, inside of his imagination, where the thoughts were safe, locked away from anyone who might try to take them.] And this is what I want.
[It is because they were set on that one linear path for so long that it's so hard to break from it. Even now, when they have nothing else to lose- they lost their lives already. But Noct's words are a wake-up call from it all, a very simple truth that Ignis' mind has yet to accept. To get used to it.
Noctis is not a King. Ignis is not an advisor. They have no duties to the Crown here.
His head tilts into the touch, a soft sigh slipping past his lips. It's so comforting, in a way that words cannot describe it. The kiss sends a shiver that has nothing to do with cold and such soft touch is making his heart almost beat out of his chest. This feels... good. Normal. Like it was meant to be from a very long time ago.
Both of Ignis' hands come to cup Noct's face- yes, perhaps they are just Ignis and Noctis here, but in a way, Noct will forever be his King. The only person he will ever bow to.]
Then... will you let Ignis protect you, Noct? [He turns his head to press a soft kiss on Noct's palm.] Because that's what I want. This. And that. And everything else that comes with all of it.
There are so many ways to answer that question, and none of them are the one that Ignis wants.
Ignis had already protected him. Had already given everything to try and save him. That's why they were here together instead of him being alone. Ignis was meant to protect him, to guide him. To keep him safe. Not quite his shield but just as fierce and twice as loyal.
That wasn't what Noctis wanted. Had never been what he wanted. Those who had sworn their lives to him had suffered so much because of it. Because of him. They had stuck by his side, always, and all he had ever done was cause all of them pain. He couldn't do that. Not to Ignis. Not anymore.
But Ignis speaks those words, kisses his palm like he's something precious, and his heart skips a beat. Aches with how much they both want this. How much they both want each other. Ignis wants this, wants him, and it's a revelation that had only ever come to him before in dreams. Always leaving him feeling hollow when he wakes, like something is missing that should be there.
Part of him understands, because all he wants is to protect Ignis. To keep him safe. To fight and give everything for the chance. It's like the two sides are at war within him, and he can't decide which one to chose. Yes or no.
Ignis wants this. Wants him. Wants everything that will come along with it. They both know the risk. Know exactly what they're getting themselves into.]
Yes. [It's more like a sigh than a spoken word, bright eyes falling shut as he nuzzled into the gentle touch.] I'll give you everything, Ignis. [It's like a promise that's been waiting for far too long to be made, slipping out so easily, so readily.] But only if you'll let me protect you too. [The single condition. The only thing he would ask for in return. That he be allowed to give the same for Ignis. That his life would no longer be held as somehow more important.
It wasn't. And he didn't want it if Ignis was no longer in it.]
[One day, Noctis will finally accept that what Ignis did was his choice, his decision. And while it resulted in him dying, it almost felt liberating because- it was his own free decision. Not guided by the rules of anything. The fact that Noct was a prince and king he should protect is just a coincidence. He'd do this regardless of what Noctis is.
But until that day comes, until Noct comes to terms with it, Ignis will be there to reassure him. Because he knows that Noct didn't want any one of them to die- for him or no.
Offering Noctis a smile, Ignis gives Noctis a small nod and presses a long kiss to his forehead.]
You always did protect me. It would be rude of me to stop you.
[Noctis' life is important to Ignis as much his own life is important to Noctis. It always was that way, only shrouded by the obligations. Here- the knowledge of it all can "run free", so to speak.]
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broplaints) wrote2019-06-18 07:33 pm
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Ignis blinks when Noctis finally leans in, pressing their lips together very lightly. It's still a mere light brush, and it makes him smile.]
You are welcome, Noct, [he says when Noctis pulls back. Because there isn't a thing Ignis wouldn't do for him.]
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Enough so that he's moving the basket of bagels, the idea of breakfast completely forgotten. Until he's pushing himself up onto his knees, reaching forward to cup each side of Ignis' face, touch feather light and gentle.]
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Or is he just lonely? Does his heart just want something that he can never, ever have? Something that had been torn from him when he had been so close to it? He had waited so long to get to be with Luna. And then she was just gone.
They both were. Only she had gone to another, better place and he had ended up here. With Ignis.
For a single breathless second it appears that he wavers, glancing down and away as if he's changed his mind, hands falling from Ignis' face down to his shoulders where they grip tight. But it only last for that one brief moment in time, before he's shifting, moving in even closer, lifting a leg and swinging it across Ignis' lap, until he can bring himself to rest upon it. Shifts and settles, those blue eyes locked up his face, the message that it was Ignis' move clearly written in them.]
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But this is completely different. Heart stuck in his throat, hands resting on Noct's waist, as if afraid that he'll just evaporate. That the warmth of his hands is just a dream. And it goes against all logic to allow this, any of this, but... Noct's kiss untied the dusty box with feelings he hid away a long time ago. That he never expected to poke into at all.
And Gods, he's afraid to do it. It's why he's hesitating himself. Yes, they are dead, and they could do whatever they want but... it still feels like he's doing something forbidden. Something that's not meant to be for him. And he's not sure what will become of him if he ever has to give it up. That's why the box is dangerous and hidden.
With a shaky sigh, he leans his forehead against Noct's their noses brushing as his hands tremble.]
...Noct...
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And for it, this hidden, feral thing trying to claw it's way to life inside of Ignis, Noctis is the light.
Why would they ever have to give this up? What power could be strong enough to make that possible?
A stupid question, because even he knew the answer to that. Luna was that power. And it was strong enough to force them back onto opposite sides of that line.
He wants this. So much. Because this is something he never would have been allowed when he was alive. There was duty first, personal wants second, and this was one that never would have even been entertained. Especially not with Ignis, the man who was meant to be his friend, his confident and adviser but not this. Never this.
He could have this, right? Take it for himself. Ignis would always give him whatever he wanted. But those hands trembled where they should be steady, and he forced those thoughts away.
Reaching down, he gently grasped with wrist, slowly removing them from his hips, twisting his hands until their palms met and their fingers could interlace, holding them between them. Pressed the back of Ignis' against where his heart beat within his chest. Pressed the back of his own against Ignis' and held them there.]
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Or so Ignis convinced himself.
He'd give everything to Noctis, that's how it always was. Always will be. And he would give this to him too. And take in return. But Luna is someone he has no chance against no matter how deep his feelings go, or what he did. Some facts just can't be changed.
It feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest and somehow he hopes it does because it will end this sweet torture- at least temporarily. He squeezes Noct's hands back tightly but doesn't dare say a word- his voice will betray him. Only keeps him close, both of them pressed together, tightly.
'I can't do this. Please, move away,' is stuck behind his teeth and not coming out. Because, for once, he's being selfish.]
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One foot is already over that invisible line, and the other is ready poised and ready to follow. Only it's going to drag, going to destroy that line completely in it's wake. Leave them nothing to go back to should this fail.
It would be foolish to think they could just stop this and go back. This wasn't the Regalia, and there were no u-turns in life or death. They wouldn't be able to repair should this new, fragile thing be damaged.
He still wants it. Wants that heart he feels beating underneath the surface. Wants to give his own in return. But is it fair to only give half when he's being given a whole in return? Is it right to only ever love someone half as much as you possibly could?
What was the right answer?
Luna wasn't here. Ignis was. Luna would want him to be happy. Ignis was one of the sources of that happiness. Scales and balances, each side weighing heavy. But Luna wasn't here, and no one else has arrived but them. Most weren't lucky enough to have anyone from their own world arrive with them. The chances of Luna suddenly appearing were slim. Low enough that they could almost be zero.
Instead it was Ignis who was here beside him. Always having his back. Watching over him. Taking care of him. Ignis deserved to have this for himself. This one thing.
And so Noctis gave it. Finally.
They were so close. All it took was lifting his head for their lips to meet. A feather light brush, soft and barely there. Followed another, slightly deeper, but still gentle. Then the last, longer and firmer than the first two, air leaving his lungs as he gave himself over to it.]
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He'll take it, this moment, all of it, and jealously hide it from everyone else. It's too precious to be tampered with. Noct's weight on him, smell, the way his eyes look at him half-lidded and then leaning in. Finally leaning in for a kiss.
A longer one. A simple press of the lips, moving slowly against each other as Ignis returns it, his grip on Noct's hands almost impossibly firm. It so overwhelming, to the point he wants to push Noct away to be able to just breathe. But he doesn't do it.
Instead, he keeps the kiss going, eyes closed so he could relish in every sensation that he gets, shivers running down his back.]
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It's impossible to imagine never having this again. Never being this close. Never feeling Ignis' heart beat so wildly beneath his touch. The way his kiss alone can make him shiver.
He shifts, hand currently holding Ignis' against his chest slowly slipping away, lifting instead to cup the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in dirty blond strands. Like he's desperate for something to hold on to.
And he is. Because kissing Ignis is like tasting the freedom he's always desperately wanted. Like all of the rebellious things he had ever done all rolled up into one. He knew then that this won't - can't be the only time. He won't let it. Because he's knows that taste know, and he's already addicted.
He pulls away, just long enough to breathe. Just long enough for his eyes to flutter open and for his lips to curl up into a soft smile at the sight of what he's done. Then he's right back. Lips pressing in even more fiercely than before.]
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Right now, it's all Noctis. His hands, his lips, his body- Ignis wraps both of his hands around his waist, pulling him flush against himself once his hands are free. The fingers dig into the back of Noct's shirt, a soft groan slipping past his parted lips when Noct pulls back.
It's making him dizzy... Noct's beautiful blue eyes, catching a glimmer of their lanterns. Ignis could spend hours upon hours just looking at him. But he's properly distracted when Noct smiles and dives in for another kiss, and one of his hands moves to the back of Noct's head, fingers entwining with Noct's hair.]
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That groan does things to him in all of the best ways. Has a shiver running down the length of his spine and a sound falling from his lips that he can't contain. This kiss is so different from the first. Deeper. Passionate. Like they're pouring out years of desperate, repressed longing.
But then his lungs remind him that he needs to breathe, and he can't quite workout how to draw in air and not break their connection. It's only when they begin to burn and ache that he actually pulls away.]
Ignis. [Again. Please.]
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He is breathing deeply too when Noctis pulls back, lips red and face flushed lightly. Noctis is incredible- he always was. Always will be. To Ignis. Noct whispering his name only proves it- that he is a dangerous delight he shouldn't have, shouldn't even think about.
But they threw everything out of the window already and Ignis pulls Noct closer, chest to chest, forehead leaning against the other, his hand tangled in Noct's hair on the back of his head. Admitting his true feelings aloud is impossible, there's no way he can do it (now or possibly ever), but he can try and convey them.
Through another kiss. And another. Shorter, biting ones. Then a longer one where his tongue swipes over the bottom of Noct's lip teasingly. Ignis says nothing- but he's listening intently. Noct's every breath, every sound he makes, every movement.]
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And they part dutifully. What was meant to be a soft sound turned into something louder, longer and more desperate. Arms shifted and flexed, wrapping around strong shoulders, clinging as though they were lost in the waves of an ocean and Ignis was the only thing keeping him afloat.
It was so much. So perfect that he couldn't imagine not having this again. Not having more one day. Ignis was so much. So perfect. And it was Ignis who was giving him these things. Who was making him feel like this.
Why couldn't they have this much for themselves? They had already given everything. All of their strength. All of their hope. Their entire lives given over in an attempt to save the world. They could have this much. Could take it.
They would take it. Noctis already was. This was his. Ignis was his. And he couldn't imagine giving him up.]
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Kiss after kiss- short biting ones and deep, passionate ones- Ignis doesn't know how long have they have been sitting like this, but he doesn't care. He wants all of it, more. Like a thirsty man in the desert, craving for water. That's how much Ignis is craving, yet cherishing, every single one of these kisses.
Because he's not sure what this world will bring them. They are dead and yet they can die again. So he will take this, this moment with each other, so he has no regrets later.
When Ignis pulls back, he's out of breath, and all pure, total affection he feels for Noctis is clearly written all over his face.]
Noct...
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Ignis had taken a lonely, solitary prince and given him everything he had ever wanted. Even when it had been difficult. Even when it would have been easier to give up then continue to deal with everything Noctis dished out. Had never wavered. Had always been right at his side. Had always had his back.
And now he bore the scars.
Hands slipped from where they rested upon Ignis' shoulders, came up to gently grasp the edges of his glasses, sliding them from his face slowly. Carefully folded them before placing them aside, onto the nearby table that held their lanterns, where they would be safe.
Then they were back, fingertips tracing along the edges of the silvery white scar that rimmed his left eye. Across the one that now marred the bridge of his nose. Leaned in and pressed his lips against it, soft and reverent.]
It's alright, Iggy. I want this.
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Is it the way Noct is gently handling him? Putting away his glasses then tracing the scars around his eye and over the bridge of his nose... The way he speaks quietly to him, breath against his lips and Ignis fights back the urge to dive in for another kiss.
The way Noctis affects him Ignis hid for years, coming up on the occasions when Noct would strike a soft spot inside of him. Gladio would call him out on indulging and babying Noctis and Ignis would just mentally sigh in relief that his "terrible" secret is safe.
Now, Noct tore into him and pulled out that secret into the open and Ignis has no energy to fight back. Because- he can never say /No/ to Noct.]
I... [Why does he feel like he should apologize...?] Is... it really alright? Because it feels... surreal to me.
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Because Noctis was a prince. A king. And there were rules that had to be followed. A laundry list of things that were forbidden. Noctis was untouchable. It didn't matter what feelings had grown between them, how intense and real and wanted they were. Because the path that had been chosen for him didn't include some fling with his adviser. It was linear, a one way trip with no deviations.
This wasn't just breaking from that intended path, it was leaving it behind as if it had never existed at all.]
I'm not a king anymore. [And that was the most important distinction. That which took this and transformed it from something forbidden into something which was possible.
Hands slipped downwards, cupped each cheek with that same gentleness, wide pad of his thumb tracing along the scar that now split Ignis' lower lip.] And you're not my adviser. We're Ignis and Noctis.
[It's so easy to lean in, to press another kiss against those lips. It comes so naturally, like he had been doing it for years. And he had, inside of his imagination, where the thoughts were safe, locked away from anyone who might try to take them.] And this is what I want.
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Noctis is not a King. Ignis is not an advisor. They have no duties to the Crown here.
His head tilts into the touch, a soft sigh slipping past his lips. It's so comforting, in a way that words cannot describe it. The kiss sends a shiver that has nothing to do with cold and such soft touch is making his heart almost beat out of his chest. This feels... good. Normal. Like it was meant to be from a very long time ago.
Both of Ignis' hands come to cup Noct's face- yes, perhaps they are just Ignis and Noctis here, but in a way, Noct will forever be his King. The only person he will ever bow to.]
Then... will you let Ignis protect you, Noct? [He turns his head to press a soft kiss on Noct's palm.] Because that's what I want. This. And that. And everything else that comes with all of it.
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Ignis had already protected him. Had already given everything to try and save him. That's why they were here together instead of him being alone. Ignis was meant to protect him, to guide him. To keep him safe. Not quite his shield but just as fierce and twice as loyal.
That wasn't what Noctis wanted. Had never been what he wanted. Those who had sworn their lives to him had suffered so much because of it. Because of him. They had stuck by his side, always, and all he had ever done was cause all of them pain. He couldn't do that. Not to Ignis. Not anymore.
But Ignis speaks those words, kisses his palm like he's something precious, and his heart skips a beat. Aches with how much they both want this. How much they both want each other. Ignis wants this, wants him, and it's a revelation that had only ever come to him before in dreams. Always leaving him feeling hollow when he wakes, like something is missing that should be there.
Part of him understands, because all he wants is to protect Ignis. To keep him safe. To fight and give everything for the chance. It's like the two sides are at war within him, and he can't decide which one to chose. Yes or no.
Ignis wants this. Wants him. Wants everything that will come along with it. They both know the risk. Know exactly what they're getting themselves into.]
Yes. [It's more like a sigh than a spoken word, bright eyes falling shut as he nuzzled into the gentle touch.] I'll give you everything, Ignis. [It's like a promise that's been waiting for far too long to be made, slipping out so easily, so readily.] But only if you'll let me protect you too. [The single condition. The only thing he would ask for in return. That he be allowed to give the same for Ignis. That his life would no longer be held as somehow more important.
It wasn't. And he didn't want it if Ignis was no longer in it.]
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But until that day comes, until Noct comes to terms with it, Ignis will be there to reassure him. Because he knows that Noct didn't want any one of them to die- for him or no.
Offering Noctis a smile, Ignis gives Noctis a small nod and presses a long kiss to his forehead.]
You always did protect me. It would be rude of me to stop you.
[Noctis' life is important to Ignis as much his own life is important to Noctis. It always was that way, only shrouded by the obligations. Here- the knowledge of it all can "run free", so to speak.]
I'll stay by your side. Always.
[A promise that beats even death.]