Of course not. [God's this entire thing was so stupid. And he couldn't even explain why it bothered him so much properly. Not without sounding like an even bigger awkward idiot than he already did.]
Just forget it. I'm not really hungry anyway. [Was walking away the right answer? Probably not. Is it what he was going to do? Absolutely. And he hadn't even touched his food.]
[Ignis is tired of fighting, especially as something mundane as is food that they all need to eat. But if this escalates into another fight, then he'll be here and Noct will not run away. He gets out of his seat and stands in front of Noctis-]
What would you want me to do then, if not cook to help them? I'm not letting you walk away angry- again. Despite this being a mundane topic, it clearly bothers you and I want to find a solution to it.
So please, stop being stubborn. [He gives Noctis a worried look.] We always worked together to solve all the problems. Right?
I want you to get out of my way. [There was absolutely no escaping Ignis. He knew that. There was absolutely no escaping this entire ordeal. That one of them found it to be mundane and simple while the other found it to be incredibly important only made the entire thing worse.]
Since you waste such much time taking care of me, how about you just don't anymore? [That thought had always been there, festering away within the back of his mind. That everything Ignis did for him was a complete waste of time. That he required too much. Took too much and gave nothing back. That he was a burden. Without him Ignis could be free to do whatever he wanted.
Attempting to duck around Ignis likely wasn't the smartest idea - but it wasn't like he could feasibly warp within the confines of the cabin, much less the tiny space which comprised the kitchen. If only he could be quick enough.]
[Ignis should find this entire ordeal just plain annoying and if he were younger, he would just brush it off and let Noct just calm down by himself like he did that one time. He regretted the decision to walk out almost immediately, but back then he couldn't turn back.
Now, he's not stepping away. He's not letting this slide and just make an even bigger problem in the future.
And no, he can't avoid or duck past Ignis. He doesn't let him and corners him against the counters, taking his face into his hands.]
Look at me, Noct. [He doesn't say anything else (or lets up his hold on him) until Noctis looks at his face.]
I want you to look at me and remember these words. [He's trying his best to keeps his voice from breaking.]
I love you. Everything I do is for you. Because I love you. I am at my wits end on trying to find a way how to show it to you. Because I am not so sure that you believe me when I say it.
You have never been a waste of time for me. Never. And you will never be.
[Things had been different back then. Back before everything had exploded, had become so complicated. Back when they were nothing more than a prince and his adviser, struggling to traverse the paths both of them were expected to walk. Noctis trying to fight against the idea of his father dying, of becoming king. And Ignis trying to get him to see the truth of his own reality.
That fight had never really had a conclusion. They never talked about it. Just moved on from it and pretended it never even happened. That's what they all did. Forged ahead towards the future and tried not to look at the past.
Noctis hated it.
All he wants is to get out if this situation that he was entirely responsible for. That he had very much placed himself in. That he had caused. Slip past Ignis and take the time needed to forget all about it. To shove it down and ignore it. But he's being cornered, trapped against the counter top and there is no escape. Not when those hands are on his face and Ignis is speaking. Commanding. And as much as he doesn't want to, he has no other choice.
He looks up.
Steel blue catches emerald green and become lost. Trapped. Held steady there by the sheer force of that gaze and nothing could make him move.
'I love you' Ignis says. 'Everything I do is for you.' 'You're not a waste.'
And it all sounds so beautiful. So good and real and he wants with all of his being to believe it. That he's not a waste of Ignis' time and efforts. That he truly does want to do all of these things for him. That the love sparking between them is so strong that it only heightens that desire.]
I just... I hate this, Ignis. I hate how I feel right now. That I'm so jealous and possessive when I know better. I love you so much. Sometimes you're all that's even holding me together and if I didn't have that anymore I... I couldn't take it.
[It has been very different and very difficult for all of them to move on from their old habits. From some habits they even couldn't move on, couldn't forget, ingrained in their minds and souls forever. But he knows one thing for sure and that his feelings for Noctis are as real as they themselves are. He had denied in the past, lied to the others and himself that they aren't there but- not here.
He's not lying to himself or anyone else for that matter, now that they are dead. And it is Noct's choice to be with him or no.
Those blue eyes... he's fallen in love with them such a long time ago, it feels almost like an eternity. He leans his forehead against Noct's and sighs- jealousy and possessiveness has always been bad vice of Noct's and with their relationship, it seems it has spiked.]
I can't tell you to not feel what you feel, but I assure you, there is no one I'd rather spend the rest of my time with than with you. Food? Places? Items? They come and go. But I will stay. I always stayed, I always will. It is something that not even Gods themselves can change.
('You got my back'? He would ask it already knowing the answer. Glancing over at Ignis as they both prepared to run headlong into whatever dared to challenge them now. Wild, gigantic beast and entire fleets of mechanical troops who's only purpose was to make their lives miserable. It didn't matter. Not even the gods themselves could stand against the force of both of them.
And the answer would come, never once failing, never once faltering.
Always.)
Not now and for as long as they both might still have. Always. It shook him down into his core. Made his heart skip a beat and clench so tightly within his chest that it ached. Why hadn't he ever seen this before? Of all the times he had looked into those eyes, why had he never seen this beautiful light shining inside them? Or had he really been that blind?
That ugliness is still there. Still threatens to claw upwards and out. But it's squashed down a little more easily now.]
[Hearing the words come back to him from Noct draws a small smile from Ignis. His thumbs brush against Noct's chin and cheeks slowly, his eyes drinking in Noct's glassy gaze, seeing a flicker from the torch inside of them. How he wishes to see the pure, deep blue in sunlight again. One day- one day he'll see it again. And eyes will be smiling at him, happy they get to go to do proper fishing.
The kiss Ignis gives Noct is slow, wanting to pour all of his love he has for him through it, without any rush, just feeling. He pulls back after a moment and gives Noctis another smile.]
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broplaints) wrote2019-06-18 07:33 pm
no subject
Just forget it. I'm not really hungry anyway. [Was walking away the right answer? Probably not. Is it what he was going to do? Absolutely. And he hadn't even touched his food.]
no subject
What would you want me to do then, if not cook to help them? I'm not letting you walk away angry- again. Despite this being a mundane topic, it clearly bothers you and I want to find a solution to it.
So please, stop being stubborn. [He gives Noctis a worried look.] We always worked together to solve all the problems. Right?
no subject
Since you waste such much time taking care of me, how about you just don't anymore? [That thought had always been there, festering away within the back of his mind. That everything Ignis did for him was a complete waste of time. That he required too much. Took too much and gave nothing back. That he was a burden. Without him Ignis could be free to do whatever he wanted.
Attempting to duck around Ignis likely wasn't the smartest idea - but it wasn't like he could feasibly warp within the confines of the cabin, much less the tiny space which comprised the kitchen. If only he could be quick enough.]
no subject
Now, he's not stepping away. He's not letting this slide and just make an even bigger problem in the future.
And no, he can't avoid or duck past Ignis. He doesn't let him and corners him against the counters, taking his face into his hands.]
Look at me, Noct. [He doesn't say anything else (or lets up his hold on him) until Noctis looks at his face.]
I want you to look at me and remember these words. [He's trying his best to keeps his voice from breaking.]
I love you. Everything I do is for you. Because I love you. I am at my wits end on trying to find a way how to show it to you. Because I am not so sure that you believe me when I say it.
You have never been a waste of time for me. Never. And you will never be.
no subject
That fight had never really had a conclusion. They never talked about it. Just moved on from it and pretended it never even happened. That's what they all did. Forged ahead towards the future and tried not to look at the past.
Noctis hated it.
All he wants is to get out if this situation that he was entirely responsible for. That he had very much placed himself in. That he had caused. Slip past Ignis and take the time needed to forget all about it. To shove it down and ignore it. But he's being cornered, trapped against the counter top and there is no escape. Not when those hands are on his face and Ignis is speaking. Commanding. And as much as he doesn't want to, he has no other choice.
He looks up.
Steel blue catches emerald green and become lost. Trapped. Held steady there by the sheer force of that gaze and nothing could make him move.
'I love you' Ignis says. 'Everything I do is for you.' 'You're not a waste.'
And it all sounds so beautiful. So good and real and he wants with all of his being to believe it. That he's not a waste of Ignis' time and efforts. That he truly does want to do all of these things for him. That the love sparking between them is so strong that it only heightens that desire.]
I just... I hate this, Ignis. I hate how I feel right now. That I'm so jealous and possessive when I know better. I love you so much. Sometimes you're all that's even holding me together and if I didn't have that anymore I... I couldn't take it.
no subject
He's not lying to himself or anyone else for that matter, now that they are dead. And it is Noct's choice to be with him or no.
Those blue eyes... he's fallen in love with them such a long time ago, it feels almost like an eternity. He leans his forehead against Noct's and sighs- jealousy and possessiveness has always been bad vice of Noct's and with their relationship, it seems it has spiked.]
I can't tell you to not feel what you feel, but I assure you, there is no one I'd rather spend the rest of my time with than with you. Food? Places? Items? They come and go. But I will stay. I always stayed, I always will. It is something that not even Gods themselves can change.
You have me now, and always.
no subject
('You got my back'? He would ask it already knowing the answer. Glancing over at Ignis as they both prepared to run headlong into whatever dared to challenge them now. Wild, gigantic beast and entire fleets of mechanical troops who's only purpose was to make their lives miserable. It didn't matter. Not even the gods themselves could stand against the force of both of them.
And the answer would come, never once failing, never once faltering.
Always.)
Not now and for as long as they both might still have. Always. It shook him down into his core. Made his heart skip a beat and clench so tightly within his chest that it ached. Why hadn't he ever seen this before? Of all the times he had looked into those eyes, why had he never seen this beautiful light shining inside them? Or had he really been that blind?
That ugliness is still there. Still threatens to claw upwards and out. But it's squashed down a little more easily now.]
You have me too, Iggy. Always.
no subject
The kiss Ignis gives Noct is slow, wanting to pour all of his love he has for him through it, without any rush, just feeling. He pulls back after a moment and gives Noctis another smile.]
Always.