Sometimes it would be further than others. Sometimes his hand would almost make it to her, so near that he could feel the heat radiating from her.
But it was never enough. She would always slip through his grasp at the last moment. He could never touch her, no matter how hard he tried, how quickly he moved.
And it haunted him. Followed him about during every single waking hour and every moment he was asleep. He could always see her, looming there, just beyond the space which he was capable of reaching.
This night was no different, the sound of rain pouring down on the tent matching the pounding of his heart as he woke with a start, crying out in pain as the memory faded.
She wasn't there. Of course she wasn't. But there was a shock of blond hair to his left and he reached desperately for Prompto, for the other love he had found along the way. Not a replacement, not something that would ever fill that deep pit, but something whole and beautiful to sit within the rest of his heart and warm it.
Even as he settled back down he rolled in towards Prompto's heat, wrapped his arms around his center and buried his face in the nape of his neck.]
[ he's not quite asleep, somewhere in-between that haze of awake and dreaming. so, he hears the rain when it starts, and honestly, he's a little drowsy when there's a sharp sound off to the side, trying to get his body to cooperate and turn to look. but there's movement, the rustle of a sleeping bag and then... prompto exhales slowly, immediately aware of the heat of noct's arms as they slide around him and the hot breath that ghosts along his neck. in this position, he can't see him, but he doesn't need to look at him to know it had been a bad dream. it's a quiet worry he swallows down, fingers stroking along noct's hand and up the length of his arm. ]
I'm here. [ his voice leaves him in a mumble, shifting a little to accommodate the press of their bodies. it's still not comfortable, but he can deal. ] You okay?
[ but that doesn't seem like enough because prompto knows noct. he isn't going to say what he's really thinking, not out loud when they're crammed in this tent, and so, heaving a long sigh, he does his best to roll over so he can face him. the position sort of squishes his arm, but he tolerates it to cup noct's cheek, idly brushing some of his hair away from his forehead before resting his hand at his elbow to draw him as close as possible. ]
Wanna talk about it? [ he's definitely still sort of asleep, but at least he's trying. ]
[Prompto speaks and his voice is almost lost in the fall of the rain. But Noctis can feel him, can feel his hand move over his skin and he tries, desperately, to center himself within that touch. But it doesn't quite work, and he the sound he emits is a mixture of half-choked down sob and his loves named: Prompto.
Of course, it was another bad dream. They had been coming far more rapidly with everything that had taken place in such a short span of time. During the day he could put on a strong front, could act like everything was alright. It was easier, with Ignis, to lie, because he only had to keep it out of his voice. It took far more to keep it from his face and out of his eyes as well.
Here, in the darkness, clinging to Prompto like he was the only thing keeping him together, it was more difficult not to fall apart. Even harder when Prompto rolled over onto his side and cupped his cheek, so gentle and soft, eyes shining up at him through the darkness.]
Yeah I'm - [Fine. But he most definitely wasn't.] I keep seeing here. And no matter what I do, I can never get close to her. It's like I'm being punished for not being there when she needed me.
[ he doesn't expect him to say anything, not really. they're both exhausted from the day, from the last week, and it takes a lot of effort to focus on noct and the pitch of his voice. more than anything, he doesn't like this. he doesn't like that he can't comfort noct the way he might have been able to once upon a time. he isn't sure anything he could come up with will make him feel better, especially not about this, and he hesitates, gently squeezing at his elbow before slipping closer and tangling their legs together.
the rain hitting the tent isn't doing them any favors either, but at least they're alone. at least there's the intimacy of the dark and the low rumble of thunder to embrace them the same way they're embracing each other. ]
I wanna say it's gonna be okay. [ he wants to so badly. ] But it's just a dream, right? It doesn't mean you'll never get there. [ his advice is pretty terrible, he knows. it still doesn't mean he's not earnest about it, half asleep as he is, and prompto rolls forward on his shoulder to press into noct's space and bump their noses together. ] We'll both get there.
[ because lunafreya has meant so much to him too. she means a lot to everyone in varying degrees, and even though he knows he can never fill that space in noct's heart the same way, he's still going to stand by him no matter what. ]
There was absolutely not a single thing that was going to be okay. Honestly, Noctis doubted if it would ever get to the point where he would even find hope in those words again.
But it was difficult not to feel it, just a little, radiating out from his core like a warmth that spread over his entire body. Hope. Strength. The will to go on. All of it was sparked from the feeling of having Prompto so close to him. His sun in all of this darkness.
His arms tighten, body going along with however Prompto wishes to move them, one leg lifting to wrap around a slender hip, pulling them ever closer. Even now, it didn't feel like it was ever going to be enough. Like they would ever be near enough to one another.]
Yeah. [Just a dream. And he had to stop dwelling on it, because that wasn't what Luna would want. Luna would want him to find happiness, to smile and laugh and feel hope ad joy. Not this angry black pit inside of him that threatened to eat him alive.] We'll see her again someday.
[He believed that with all of his heart.
Swallowing hard, he tilted his head upwards, just enough for their lips to brush, petal soft and barely there.] Go back to sleep, babe. I'm sorry for waking you.
[ they're this close, and prompto could easily pretend that they're somewhere else. maybe back home, curled around one another and whispering in the dark like they used to on occasion during high school. a motel with a roof and a door they could lock. yet, the sound of the rain drums on, lulling him into a weird sense of calm, and the weight of noct's leg over his hip and just the heat of him pulls him down into that warm cocoon of safety that he so desperately craves these days. but he can't stay there, not when noct needs him; even the reassurance to sleep keeps him from closing his eyes.
he does kiss him back though, nuzzling into him and letting his mouth graze over the curve of his cheek. tender touches that they both need. ]
Nah, I'm good. [ prompto can't exactly tell him he wasn't quite asleep, so he just sticks with that and lets his fingers stroke over noct's side until he's idly pulling at his shirt instead. ] You first. I know how you need your beauty sleep more than the rest of us. [ all twelve hours of it. ] But I'm here for you, okay? Right here. Not gonna go anywhere.
[ he doesn't know how much that will help, but at least it's something. besides, he's going to make sure he wakes up before noct and tells iggy that he thinks noct should get to sleep in a little—without explaining exactly why. ]
[Prompto had always been there. A steady constant force within in his life from the moment they had met. Something strong, reliable and unmoving. Prompto's strength wasn't physical, didn't show as readily and easily as Gladio's. Didn't manifest in strategy and analyzing the way it did in Ignis.
No, Prompto's strength was silent, like a gentle calming wind that would blow in at the last moment and save you. Like a ray of sunlight that shone through the clouds and rescued you from the darkness. It was in the way he looked after all of them quietly. The way he snapped away on his camera, taking photographs as proof of their memories.
In the way he wrapped himself around Noctis now, as if he alone could somehow form a protective barrier between his prince and the rest of the world. The way he spoke, his words meant to soothe the ache that still resonated so deep.]
Not without you. [Sometimes it felt as though Noctis honestly did not deserve Prompto, like he didn't give back nearly as much as he got. But he refused to see the other put himself second for anyone. Even himself.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
broplaints) wrote2020-05-29 10:57 am
☆ For Prompto
Sometimes it would be further than others. Sometimes his hand would almost make it to her, so near that he could feel the heat radiating from her.
But it was never enough. She would always slip through his grasp at the last moment. He could never touch her, no matter how hard he tried, how quickly he moved.
And it haunted him. Followed him about during every single waking hour and every moment he was asleep. He could always see her, looming there, just beyond the space which he was capable of reaching.
This night was no different, the sound of rain pouring down on the tent matching the pounding of his heart as he woke with a start, crying out in pain as the memory faded.
She wasn't there. Of course she wasn't. But there was a shock of blond hair to his left and he reached desperately for Prompto, for the other love he had found along the way. Not a replacement, not something that would ever fill that deep pit, but something whole and beautiful to sit within the rest of his heart and warm it.
Even as he settled back down he rolled in towards Prompto's heat, wrapped his arms around his center and buried his face in the nape of his neck.]
no subject
I'm here. [ his voice leaves him in a mumble, shifting a little to accommodate the press of their bodies. it's still not comfortable, but he can deal. ] You okay?
[ but that doesn't seem like enough because prompto knows noct. he isn't going to say what he's really thinking, not out loud when they're crammed in this tent, and so, heaving a long sigh, he does his best to roll over so he can face him. the position sort of squishes his arm, but he tolerates it to cup noct's cheek, idly brushing some of his hair away from his forehead before resting his hand at his elbow to draw him as close as possible. ]
Wanna talk about it? [ he's definitely still sort of asleep, but at least he's trying. ]
no subject
Of course, it was another bad dream. They had been coming far more rapidly with everything that had taken place in such a short span of time. During the day he could put on a strong front, could act like everything was alright. It was easier, with Ignis, to lie, because he only had to keep it out of his voice. It took far more to keep it from his face and out of his eyes as well.
Here, in the darkness, clinging to Prompto like he was the only thing keeping him together, it was more difficult not to fall apart. Even harder when Prompto rolled over onto his side and cupped his cheek, so gentle and soft, eyes shining up at him through the darkness.]
Yeah I'm - [Fine. But he most definitely wasn't.] I keep seeing here. And no matter what I do, I can never get close to her. It's like I'm being punished for not being there when she needed me.
no subject
the rain hitting the tent isn't doing them any favors either, but at least they're alone. at least there's the intimacy of the dark and the low rumble of thunder to embrace them the same way they're embracing each other. ]
I wanna say it's gonna be okay. [ he wants to so badly. ] But it's just a dream, right? It doesn't mean you'll never get there. [ his advice is pretty terrible, he knows. it still doesn't mean he's not earnest about it, half asleep as he is, and prompto rolls forward on his shoulder to press into noct's space and bump their noses together. ] We'll both get there.
[ because lunafreya has meant so much to him too. she means a lot to everyone in varying degrees, and even though he knows he can never fill that space in noct's heart the same way, he's still going to stand by him no matter what. ]
no subject
There was absolutely not a single thing that was going to be okay. Honestly, Noctis doubted if it would ever get to the point where he would even find hope in those words again.
But it was difficult not to feel it, just a little, radiating out from his core like a warmth that spread over his entire body. Hope. Strength. The will to go on. All of it was sparked from the feeling of having Prompto so close to him. His sun in all of this darkness.
His arms tighten, body going along with however Prompto wishes to move them, one leg lifting to wrap around a slender hip, pulling them ever closer. Even now, it didn't feel like it was ever going to be enough. Like they would ever be near enough to one another.]
Yeah. [Just a dream. And he had to stop dwelling on it, because that wasn't what Luna would want. Luna would want him to find happiness, to smile and laugh and feel hope ad joy. Not this angry black pit inside of him that threatened to eat him alive.] We'll see her again someday.
[He believed that with all of his heart.
Swallowing hard, he tilted his head upwards, just enough for their lips to brush, petal soft and barely there.] Go back to sleep, babe. I'm sorry for waking you.
no subject
he does kiss him back though, nuzzling into him and letting his mouth graze over the curve of his cheek. tender touches that they both need. ]
Nah, I'm good. [ prompto can't exactly tell him he wasn't quite asleep, so he just sticks with that and lets his fingers stroke over noct's side until he's idly pulling at his shirt instead. ] You first. I know how you need your beauty sleep more than the rest of us. [ all twelve hours of it. ] But I'm here for you, okay? Right here. Not gonna go anywhere.
[ he doesn't know how much that will help, but at least it's something. besides, he's going to make sure he wakes up before noct and tells iggy that he thinks noct should get to sleep in a little—without explaining exactly why. ]
no subject
No, Prompto's strength was silent, like a gentle calming wind that would blow in at the last moment and save you. Like a ray of sunlight that shone through the clouds and rescued you from the darkness. It was in the way he looked after all of them quietly. The way he snapped away on his camera, taking photographs as proof of their memories.
In the way he wrapped himself around Noctis now, as if he alone could somehow form a protective barrier between his prince and the rest of the world. The way he spoke, his words meant to soothe the ache that still resonated so deep.]
Not without you. [Sometimes it felt as though Noctis honestly did not deserve Prompto, like he didn't give back nearly as much as he got. But he refused to see the other put himself second for anyone. Even himself.]